brokenfirstlove.

I was too young and innocent. You said you love me and you'd want to go further than just friends so I asked my dad if it's okay. He shook his head and so you left. Fifteen years old thought that maybe you'd stay no matter what but you didn't. It was 10 years ago, and when you meet me again, everything changed. Remember when you saw me with the bangs and bicycle? Remember when I told you "I love you too, but maybe this is not the right time"? Don't be stupid. It was fucking 10 years ago and the thing between us doesn't stay the same. Why the hell you think that maybe after all these times, I could still keep the feeling even after you turned your back? Well, now I know first cut is always the deepest.

We meet again after years, you stand in front of me, smile, and tell me how beautiful and grown up I am now. You felt sorry for leaving that time and thought that maybe now is the right time for us. It's 10 pm now and I'm standing in front of you, occupied by massive shaking mixed feelings. I try to stay cool calm and collected but I failed. I looked nervous and pale but I managed to get my mind working right. "Sorry, I was never and will never be yours", I replied.

comeback.

Let's hope this is a real comeback. Ever since I had my ass landed in China, I haven't had any time to update anything on my blog, my bad. Life's great over here ! Unlike what others told me, China is surprisingly comfortable enough to live in, great foods and amazing cheap stuff all over Beijing. Plus, friends here are totally perk to hang out with. I shall say I'm having the time of my life over here. However, it doesn't change the fact that mom and dad live thousand miles away and I often wake up missing them to tears. Four years it is, living far away from them and it's amazing how I can always feel them around every morning I rise and every night I set. Cliche, I miss them every ticking second.

V for Valentine's

First of all, of course, happy valentine's people :) Wish you had a great day with beloved ones. I myself, went here and there at noon and then spent all the night long at home. So not special huh? Well, actually there are few dinner invitations but I couldn't decide which one to say yes to so I turned all of them down. Apart from that, I already had one great celebration on Sunday, pre-valentine day at Arya Duta, of course with my special someone. But on the V-day itself, nothing, so nothing special. However, there'll be another post-valentine dinner with friends on the next day so I hope it'll heal my loneliness a bit hahaha.

Well, for all the roses, cakes, teddies and valentine greetings, thank you so much guys. You know I couldn't give the respond you wanted but I am truly appreciating each and everyone's efforts. So unlucky, we girls are allowed to respond merely to only one guy, so in order to respect everyone's feelings, I'm treating everybody the same :) Wish everyone has a great day, spread the love !

counting down

Still counting down to the day I left, I HAVE NOT packed anything yet and mom has been yelling from day to night asking me to prepare myself for the -9 degree Celcius winter in Beijing. I guess my luggage would be mostly filled by coats, jackets and sweaters. Uhh, I hate winter. Meanwhile, my life has been so great over here. Post-university life is truly relaxing, meaning that I'm no longer bound to assignments, exams, and late night sleeps. But well, I miss my university life already !!

As I have mentioned so many times before, I'm making use of my 'holiday' to the maximum, enjoying it to the last bits so that when I left, there will be no regrets over wasting the holiday time. Mostly spent with hanging out with families, cousins and friends and some spent with playing computer games, watching dvds and EATING NON-STOP. I'm so gonna turn into fatty beast ! Here are some photos taken recently. Well, facebook always have the completer version babes :) Good night ;p






HAPPY WEEKEND :)

first love

Good night people ! I used up my sleep time to blog at this midnight since I can't seem to get into sleep right away. It is just one week away until my departure, and I don't feel like leaving just yet :( I will miss Medan and Kuala Lumpur so much, their sunny dayy could hardly be found in Beijing even during the summer, sigh. If only I can just stay here and start getting my ass to work, dad would stop nagging me to fly over there. So I heard Blackberry services are totally prohibited in Beijing which means I won't be able to update anything through my BB. Moreover, the internet connection in my dorm sucks so much, I'm not sure if I could survive without my BB, facebook, twitter page and all the social interaction media :( But I promised, I would post up an update in every possible opportunity. Deal.

Now guys, I believe each of you have ever been falling in love, even when you're still in primary class, right? Which we often called as the mystical 'first love'. They say first love is the sweetest of every loves you'd ever fall into. And so I recalled mine, it was when I was 12 back then. It was of course, the first time my heart beats for some guy :) I remembered watching him from far and when his eyes met mine, I'd get very very nervous and have this unstoppable adrenaline rushes. Then start worrying if I looked okay or did he noticed that I was watching him for some time already.

Every time I recalled the moments, I'd smile at myself and get some sudden excitement, first love is indeed the sweetest. Well, he happened to live in my neighborhood but he then moved away after few years. And I never get to see him again afterwards, either at school or at neighborhood. Sad ending huh? well, we never know what gonna happen in future, I always wish I'd be able to meet him again some day. So what's your story?