September 20, 2011

15degrees and lower.

I can feel the winter breezes out of my window and it's fucking September right now. Winter is indeed such a pain in the ass where I'll feel gloomy most of the days during that months. Not being able to wear nice outfits, not the mention the intolerable humidity that obviously impacted on my skin at some point. Well, good thing spring comes after winter where by that time I'll be somewhere close to mommy and daddy. Everything with school went not so good I should say, been skipping few classes due to the improper morning schedule plus most of the teachers here are utterly boring. And each time I managed to attend the morning class, I'll end up sleeping half through the class. Epic, doesn't it?

Sometimes it made me wonder what the fuck am I doing here. I'm not here to study (goes with the fact I skipped more classes than those I attended), I profoundly spend regular money for unimportant stuff (this one can't be helped). This is seriously ridiculous on second thought, why would I stay far from my beloved ones, why would I waste those kind of money and time, why would I let myself slack through these upcoming 6 months? Where the bitter truth is I could have started working and earned my own money. I hate the way I'm too indulged in the comfort and privileges given by daddy, and often forget that I'm just in the right age to work my ass off instead of keep on spending shit. I demand and give nothing in return :(. Well, pls just wait a bit more, dear mom and dad.

September 15, 2011

always do, always will.

So long my friend! I'm desperate for a good and proper internet connection over here. My lame connection in the dorm is one of many reasons I get furious so often these days. I don't know how to start, but let's begin it this way. Well, I'm currently here in Shanghai, finishing my last half year of Chinese studies. Been here a few times, and now that I get to stay here for quite some time, I realize this is just another great city to live in. Ever since I get here, things are just great, good foods, nice friends, incredible shopping venues, beautiful city and amazing many new things to be learned. I like it here, not a bad place to spend my last half year of fun.

Don't get me wrong though, things aren't all so great here. Apparently I left to China just one day after my mom and dad left to Africa for their vacation so I kinda missed the thrill of kissing them goodbye. And worse part of being alone, far from my family is that it makes me sort of emotionally unstable. And yeah, what's worst than a long distance relationship? Number one reason why people giving up on love.

Misunderstandings, over-possessiveness, massive insecurities, they are just another shits I wish to kick outta my life. Being in this kind of relationship makes me assuming the worst out of everything and I hate myself for being so negative all along. Not to mention the big fight where we thought we lost respect to each other, where we tried to defend ourselves and keep blaming the other for causing such a mess. Question is who survive LDR? There are some, but most of them, they don't make it no matter how hard they hold on. Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength. Well anyhow, I believe things are gonna work out just the way I want it to be. Happy one and a half boy !