December 20, 2010

month of the year

Hey bloggers, I see it's finally the end of 2010 and who doesn't love December. All the great things are here, school holiday, summer-break, Christmas delight,and New Year Eve. I heard people are not having great time during 2010, well, mine wasn't great too but I love this year. It is the year where my long exhausting university life has finally come to an end. Graduating is one big thing in my life, and I couldn't be any happier of having to finish my degree just on time. Which also means, tougher and more challenging future is waiting out there. I've gotten myself ready though ! So thank you dear God who have helped me through all the hard times and kept me strong. Thank you my parents who obviously supported me all these times, financially, physically and spiritually. Also thank you bf, brothers and all dearest friends out there :)

Here I am now enjoying my long holiday before the new chapter of life which is still a long way to go. Apparently, I cancelled all my application for master degree although I know it is a great chance to lose but I've made a better future plan for myself. I believe the result of going the other way will be much more promising than sitting another 1.5 years in university again (hope this answers those who were asking around why I cancelled my earlier plan). Honestly, I think I might regret this decision one day but screw it, I know my God has a better plan for me. Again, thank you mom and dad for letting me decide where I am heading, although I honestly know they really want to have their children pursuing master degree.

However, I can feel my next chapter of life will be much funner than sitting in university. I'll keep you guys updated ! Until then, take care and have a great December !

November 15, 2010

clear my head off.

I'm turning into someone else I don't even know, I lose control over myself and lucky, by the time I realized, it ain't too late yet. Ever since my final exam, I've been pampering myself through shopping and eating. I practically ate like a horse and need to stop before I turned into scary beast, so hello 'empty stomach' ! I won't allow anything get into my mouth after 6pm. That's the deal, well, except the BBQ party tomorrow :) that's gonna be a blast. We had lotsa people coming and lotsa foods on the way, and yes, Le Cordon Bleu chef will be serving us, lol. Talked to mom about my spending pattern and she started to worry that I'm turning into those bimbo girls who are (sorry to say) expert in make up and style but big zero inside the brain. Honestly, I started to worry myself ! *kata orang syndrom kehilangan jati diri*

Mom then said I should be someone like her, like my dad, like my brothers, because we are one family. That stuff she told me, hit straight to my face, and made me realize, I've been different. I demanded almost everything without giving anything ! I kept complaining how lucky my brother is, he could get new Macbook, new Ipad, new BB, new this and that so easy, but I apparently, forget the fact that he worked hard to make himself deserve all those privileges. He deactivated his facebook for study reason, he made use his time wisely, scored first rank two years straight ever since he landed in Singapore, and yes, I admit it, he deserves what he got.

Now compare that to me, I woke up at 11am, watched every new movie coming out in cinemas, had fine dinner almost every week, spend 80% of my allowance on shopping, and I DID NOT WORK HARD TO GET THAT. Screw me, useless creature :( And the worst part is, I just reserved fucking tons of stuff at topshop this evening. Well, I'm not gonna get that anymore, I'll just pick up something necessary. I shall remind myself that everytime I lose control on handling my cash, I should think DO I EVEN NEED THAT? The amount I spent in 15 minutes in one shop equals to my driver's one month salary, now you tell me if my brain still working right. *sigh big time*

This is basically what dad told me on phone, "you think I'm proud of you spending that much money and looking good? Girls look good when they're actually beautiful herself, If she's damn fcking ugly, then whatever topshop mango (idk how he knows topshop and mango -.-) WILL NOT HELP. I'll only be proud of you when my only daughter has finally graduated with satisfying result, having proper job and become someone. And now, you're just no one yet, so why don't you just sit back and think of what I've said". Then he hang up. I was like ..... okay, you're so mean, daddy, but you're right. Thanks for reminding me, but you have to know, there are things from me that you should be proud of. I don't have to tell it here, you know that and I know you'll be so goddamn proud of me someday :)

November 13, 2010


Happy weekend readers ! How's your week? I finally conquered my exam's tough time and now enjoying my long summer holiday to the fullest. Everything has been so great, having to wake up very very late (as in 11 am), slacking in my room and watching series all day long. Ahh, apparently I haven't got time to enjoy that all since I spend my days looking for graduation flowers, and teddy bears. But now that the graduation ceremony has passed, I should put my total focus on shopping ! I'll let myself spend up to thousands of ringgit for shop this time :p It's kind of my way of pampering myself.

Booked a ticket flying back home on 24th November yay ! Today has been really great, no kidding. I received an email of my conditional offer letter from University of Queensland, my dreamed university, saying that I'm completely eligible for continuing my master degree there :) And yes, another great thing is now we have an Ipad for family, lol. Basically, my brother scored another 1st rank in his class and 4th in the entire batch so he got to buy everything he wants. He got himself a BB torch and an Ipad for the family, I repeat for the FAMILY (I'm so gonna take over the right of possession, HAHAHA). While I'm gonna get myself Iphone4 soon, real soon. Is that all really happening?

Ahh btw, I'm not saying that I'm going to UQ yet, I decided to take some time to think carefully, without any rush, will that gonna be worth it? I mean all the time, money, hardwork, is that all gonna be paid off when I graduated ? Lemme go back to my cubicle and think that right :) Have a nice weekend guys. Graduation photos will be uploaded by my friend, until that time, please be satisfied with just my writings, kay?

November 5, 2010

smokers never win.

This is one big issue where we could take part and make a better living. You guys think smoking is 'okay', or perhaps cool. I myself hate smoke although I did try to be honest, twice and that's all which tasted awful. I have no particular issue dealing with people smoking around me, might sometimes get annoyed with the smell though - and well, I don't plan to die faster than the smoker. But am cool, I don't do judging. The thing is sometimes when we saw random girl smoking, the bad impression might be there, somewhere in your mind although you don't speak it out. I used to think the same few years back then but now that I am here surrounded by smokers all around, what can I say ? Nothing. Not a thing come to my mind, am no one to judge, just that want to let you know, you have better life ahead without one.

I encouraged people around me to stop smoking, immediately. To all the people I love, I did my best that they shall give up on it. I did a little google on smoking and found some interesting facts on it. I am telling you, once again, smoking do no good, it kills.

Smoking facts:

1) There are 1.1 billion smokers in the world today, and if current trends continue, that number is expected to increase to 1.6 billion by the year 2025.

2) China is home to 300 million smokers who consume approximately 1.7 trillion cigarettes a year, or 3 million cigarettes a minute.

3) Worldwide, approximately 10 million cigarettes are purchased a minute, 15 billion are sold each day, and upwards of 5 trillion are produced and used on an annual basis.

4) Five trillion cigarette filters weigh approximately 2 billion pounds.

5) It's estimated that trillions of filters, filled with toxic chemicals from tobacco smoke, make their way into our environment as discarded waste yearly.

6) While they may look like white cotton, cigarette filters are made of very thin fibers of a plastic called cellulose acetate. A cigarette filter can take between 18 months and 10 years to decompose.

7) A typical manufactured cigarette contains approximately 8 or 9 milligrams of nicotine, while the nicotine content of a cigar is 100 to 200 milligrams, with some as high as 400 milligrams.

8) There is enough nicotine in four or five cigarettes to kill an average adult if ingested whole. Most smokers take in only one or two milligrams of nicotine per cigarette however, with the remainder being burned off.

9) Worldwide, one in five teens age 13 to 15 smoke cigarettes.

10) Approximately one quarter of the youth alive in the Western Pacific Region (East Asia and the Pacific) today will die from tobacco use.

11) Half of all long-term smokers will die a tobacco-related death.

12) Every eight seconds, a human life is lost to tobacco use somewhere in the world. That translates to approximately 5 million deaths annually.

13) Tobacco use is expected to claim one billion lives this century unless serious anti-smoking efforts are made on a global level.

Tobacco offers us a life of slavery, a host of chronic, debilitating illnesses and ultimately death. And think about it: We pay big bucks for those "benefits." Sad, but true. So take your life back, my friends !

If you're a smoker wishing you could quit, make your mind up to dig your heels in and do the work necessary to get this monkey off your back now. You'll never regret it. Be bless :)

ps. I didn't google the photos above, it was somewhere in my folders and I just checked them out. I got them from last year if I'm not mistaken.

November 4, 2010

holding on :)

I bet everyone around are having their exam period just like me. I remembered I always spare some time to write a motivational post to myself and everyone else during each and every exam period. Well, I didn't have the chance to do so this sems since my timetable is pretty squeezed up and I need to catch up before it's too late. I still have one more paper if it still counts :) Good luck people ! My last paper will be Auditing on Wednesday and that would be the last paper ever for me in Monash. All I gotta do is wait until 3rd of Dec when exam result is released and there we go ! I'll tell you my plan after that, big one ! Take a deep breath, it's something exciting I promise.

Not as what I promised in my last post, I won't upload any photos just yet since I haven't taken one for quite some time but in exchange of that, here is a video I love so much that I could die. Initially found it on facebook from one of my friend, unfortunately, the video was then locked for some reason. I can't even access it through its official website, it needs some sort of code to watch. So one day I was chatting with my old room mate and she sent me a link of a website where I could download any facebook video and here it is.

Obviously the quality is very lame but whatever ! If you understand mandarin then you'll get my idea, the vows are insanely sweet and even better, the bride is way too pretty. I'm not sure if you guys could read the subtitle down there, I'll try to find the original copy and post up the link if possible so at the mean time, just enjoy what I got for you. Ahh last comment, the setting was in Bali ! Paradise in everyone's heart :)

October 17, 2010

October '10

I know I haven't posted anything this month and sorry about that. So in order to make that up, I'm right here typing this post in the middle of late night with heavy sleepy eyes. Nothing much happened, just you know small things and routines. It bores me here. Feels like moving out to elsewhere, anywhere would be good. AH ! I always had Gold Coast in mind, like ever since my high school time. Nope, I've never been there but I heard a lot from friends and websites. Apparently, bachelor study is going to end very soon and I've been planning on all these master programs which are not final yet. I might or might not be going for 'master degree' but I would really like to go ! And as you know, I'm trying to find one good university near Gold Coast.

Sounds so ridiculous huh? Dad even asked me whether am going to study or holiday. Well, ended up I found one. Pretty good one actually, it's University of Queensland. Without a doubt, it's the third best university in Australia and is one of top 50 universities in the world. I always had my eye on this university ever since I checked them on line. Unfortunately, I might not be able to attend UQ :(

Silly reason. I believed I fulfilled their entry requirements and everything. It's just you know, they had this kinda stupid policy whereby students are not allowed to take specialization that has already been taken in their undergraduate studies. Meaning that I wouldn't be able to major in finance for master since I'm doing both finance and accounting already in my bachelor degree. Nah, am not gonna do other major, not accounting, not IB, not econs, nothing but finance. All this time I found myself enjoying finance subjects and have interest to study more about it but other subject?? I don't think so.

After all, everything is not final yet. I still have other options, UK and US sounds pretty good but the idea that I'll be staying in the other part of the world is kinda creepy. So I guess I gotta think all over again and yeah, hope it's not to late for 2011 enrolment. Wish me luck :D for my final exams too !

Oh well, I realized I haven't posted up photos for such long time. I will in my next post, okay? Have a nice day people :)

September 27, 2010

matter of time.

Guys, am terribly sorry for lack of updates. Kinda busy enjoying my mid-semester break ! Time flies, it's just a month away to my final exam. Timetable is pretty good..28 oct, 29 oct, 4 nov and 10 nov ! I know I should start revising, but I just couldn't help the joy of being free from uni life for a week. Been spending so much money these few days and guess what? it's just the beginning of mid-break... sigh :( May I remind you this post is gonna be a lil bit dry, am not in the mood of writing anw. I'll just write random few things that come to my mind, alright?

First, in order to put off some weights, i'm planning to avoid soft drinks for the rest of my life. Don't laugh yet ! am serious. I was about to stop having fast food like McD and his friends, but bf laughed and said 'talk to the hand'. So let's make it more realistic, soft drinks seem like possible ! Well, am not a big fan of soft drinks though so must be no problem. I'd really like to start consuming healthier food, but I don't think it would be possible.

Next thing is about this whole 'moving-on' things face by one of my best friends. She's kind of stuck upon her ex and being stupid all the time, lol. I've been telling her, "stop thinking about him" like 1000000 times, and she won't listen. Well, I always believe that 'moving-on' might be difficult to certain people but it's not impossible. I was once in a relationship for 6 years with a very very nice man, I should say. Everything was so perfect, friends were jealous with our relationship but I turned him down. Things changed, and so we experienced what so called "post-break-up" problems. Mom and dad forced me to patch back, friends were like 'it has been 6 years, dear. you should give it another chance'. It was so horrible that time that I could hardly concentrate on other things.

I know at that time, that one day I might be regret, leaving such a great man. But you know, life goes on. And I made a choice, no way am going back there. No solid reasons could make me stay. I believe there's still a long way to go, I could make another story happens, so why stuck in some fairy tales? Truth be told, I always think that there's no way am gonna find someone like him. Lucky, am that 'don't care too much' kind of person. By now, I can proudly tell I found a better someone. And that would be the last thing I could ever wish for. Trust me, 'moving-on' is a start to new things. It might be better or worse, just go through it and believe in whatever God designed for us.

Happy Monday ! Loves :)

September 4, 2010

an easy way to be happy.

Happy Saturday first of all guys :) Well, am sorry to all of you following my twitter if you happened to read some of my harsh tweets. Obviously, I don't think there's a need to clarify all these but I just feel like doing so. Starting from Friday, it has been hectic since morning. Woke up in the morning finding my boyfriend is miles away having fun by the beach. At the same time, I have lotsa replacement classes to attend, plus days were mad hot ! Also at the moment, I've been spending whole days thinking of perfect gift for bf birthday and still couldn't find one. How sucks was my day? Wait for it, it's not that bad until I received thousand of phone calls, messages, and voicemails. Turned out certain people are in some serious trouble and only God knows why, those people come find me as if I'm part of the trouble. Enough with those pressures, I was then innocently complain in twitter on why people messing up on Friday, which I think it should be a beginning of nice weekend.

Apparently, that simple tweet raised some misunderstandings and turned out so bad, terribly bad. And there goes people responding to my tweet, some were with me, thinking that Friday shouldn't be a mess, some were offended by my last tweet because he/she is apparently in that trouble itself. I called to personally say sorry if my last tweet has offended him/her. Unfortunately, it turned out the same, nothing is solved. Disregard of whether it is my fault or not, I have put my ego down to say sorry and I think that count for something. But if my apology is not accepted, and this misunderstanding has to go on then let it be. At least I've put my effort to explain and I have nothing to lose. People know I can be a bitch, I could says those harsh words and curses anytime I want but I just choose not to, isn't it just so last year?

Well, thank God I am a 'happy-go-lucky' type of person so I choose to put all those behind and now good news ! Bf is coming back tonight, mom and brothers are coming for visit tomorrow, dad is coming the next day after that and we're all going to have some fun. I learned that sometimes we just need to be selfish, why bother how other feels when they don't give a shit on how you feel. True? Instead of looking so pathetic, I choose to take it easy, remains untroubled and relaxed. If by the end of the day, we all choose to let go the misunderstanding and be friend, I'll be pleased to do so. But if not, then I afraid my apology earlier would be such a waste.

Okay now ! On the bright side, I can see so many people out there that actually care for me. I used to tell everything to bf, only bf. But now that he's not here, I found another ears that listen, shoulders that comfort, and hearts that care :)

August 31, 2010

31st of August

It is no ordinary 31st, no ordinary August, it's the independence day of Malaysia. Well, it's not like I care actually. Malaysia itself is not my country, I just happen to be stranded to this 'neighbour' of my home country for education reason. I know lots of you think that having my ass landed in this country to pursue further education is not the right choice. To be honest, I am no fans of Malaysia. It does not offer safety at the first place. Like most of you, I also thought that Malaysia is lame, too near to our home town, does not offer anything extraordinary, no fun, no life, and boring. But believe it or not, I experienced and learnt the most of everything in here. You can't find friendly staff in Singapore, Medan, Australia or any other western countries. You don't get to feel the shopping paradise in elsewhere. Try Singapore, I bet we offer you same quality of goods with lower price. How does that sound? Okay, I'm not here to promote this country so I may as well stop here. But before you judge Malaysia, try stay here and then you talk.

Apart from what I just said, may I remind you Malaysia is so not safe ! I don't get it why they ALWAYS steal, rob, snatch, or kill when Hari Raya is coming. I honestly think if you happen to be poor, no money to buy new dress or whatsoever, you should have worked harder then. Thief is not a job, not a profession. sigh. I don't feel like talking about those shallow people or else I'll get myself out of control and cursed them to death. You guys get lost and go to hell, brainless moron -.-

After rambling so much, now I have to mood to continue this post. Such a distraction, I was about to tell you my plan for holidays. Perhaps I'll save that for next post. Have a nice day :)

August 24, 2010

katy perry - teenage dream

nice video, nice music, nice lyrics, and stunning katy. just right completing my night :)

Katy Perry | MySpace Music Videos

August 23, 2010

I don't know how to spell "Mounday"

Could hardly focus on my study, I seriously need a motivation! It is week 6 of my last semester already, and I am obviously required to put a lot of work this semester. Yet, It's still the same old me who would normally slack till week 11 something then start to rush and panic. Well, I am working on it, seriously. So there are these two assignments I need to complete and submit on Wednesday and Thursday. It's Monday now and I haven't done even one of it, not even 50%. You know, I kinda bring back the mood of holiday from my last weekend. Speaking of that, I regretfully announce that I have no photo to be uploaded at this moment since my mom took the memory card with her. Err, next month perhaps?

Like everyone else, I went to Universal Studio Singapore. I can tell 80% of the visitors are Indonesian. Typical rich Jakarta city family who spent their every weekends abroad for shopping or whatsoever. Anyway, the USS isn't as nice as I imagine, it was pretty small and has less to offer compared to those in other countries. It is obviously much smaller that those in Florida and Japan. Took one short round inside and I already came back to the main entrance, and gasped "Ahh, is that all??". After all, it still worth to go for a short holiday :) And yes, it would be best if you stay in Festive Hotel or Hard Rock Hotel next to Sentosa and USS. Their hotel rooms rock. Trust me !

Here is the one and only photo left with me, taken with my brother's mac.

Used photoshop to combine those 4 pictures into 1, and tried edit the color a bit. Does it look okay or failed? Anw, I guess I need to get back to work, have a nice day everyone :)

August 11, 2010


You might not always ask for the advice you're given, but some of it’s certainly worth listening to. Here are just a few words of wisdom that I live by:

-It doesn't matter if you fail as long as you've tried your best.
-When a person shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
-Never settle for less than what truly makes you happy.
-Don't stress the small stuff.
-Eat dessert first.

August 7, 2010

black on both sides.

Been busy doing my assignment for upcoming Wednesday, and believe it or not, I haven't rest my mind even for a minute since noon. If you're wondering why suddenly I transformed into a diligent bitch, well, I have to. I have to finish at least two of my assignments this week so that I could meet my family up in Singapore by this weekend. How does that sound to you ? Holiday in between the hectic weeks, yay right ?? Okay, so let's wish I could finish up all these. It's not easy, I tell you, dealing with figures and theories at the same time. What the hell with AASB, frameworks, journal entries, financial statements. Ohh, eat that shit ! This is also an absolute and definite reason why I prefer finance to accounting. And if I ever got the chance to work as an accountant, I'll screw that job. I have had enough, really. Yet anyway anyhow, people said when you put your heart in doing something, you'd get the best result out of it. So let's love accounting and roll it way down the street (for the sake of graduating) :)

And yeah, you guys must have noticed that I changed the whole layout of my blog. I actually picked one of those templates provided by blogger and modified a bit. It's my first trial doing my own header, which is why I keep it simple. Unfortunately, I have no 'adobe photoshop' installed on my laptop and that made me need a lil more extra work. I'd do another better and nicer header later perhaps, if I have a photoshop and the skill to use it, obviously. Finally, a brand new title to my blog, "A mile in my shoes", chosen to represent so much of my writings. Simply means, you should try to understand someone before criticising them. Isn't that so true ?? So you guys are all welcomed to visit my page, but thousand pleases, don't judge and misuse it in whatever ways.

So that's all it for tonight. I guess tomorrow gonna be another long day with paperwork, good night you all. Have a nice weekend ♥

August 6, 2010

yellow snow.

Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you, and it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the colour of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that. But life is about who you love, who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love one else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise.

August 5, 2010

before forever ends.

As long as my memory will faithfully serve, countless people have come and gone to touch my short life. I have said hello and goodbye to; waved and smiled at; shook hands and ate dinner with; too many people yet unbelievably, I still remember each and every one of their names and faces because each has giving me a moment in time. What I can not recollect as well are the abundant memories that once preoccupied all of my thoughts and dreams during those treasured days. Some of these people have made me very happy, some have even made me feel on top of the world; however, others have made me very angry, some have even made me feel down right sad. Specifically, these people have brought to me some of the greatest joys and pains, emotions that pertain to winning and the losing, giving and then receiving, but most importantly loving (unconditionally).

I occasionally sneak a peek back in time, close my eyes, drift and live a pleasant thought for a moment. Although I will always remember names and faces of certain people, occasionally I forget, regretfully, some of the memories I cherished with certain people. Help me not doubt that a friendship or relationship in real life is the most meaningful and most valuable treasure in the world. If nothing lasts forever, at least let me believe that during the limited time before forever ends, a true friendship or relationship can withstand the trials of time and last forever, and ever before forever ends.

July 23, 2010

the last semester starts.

Hi guys, sorry for not updating regularly. Holidays are over, and I had my ass back in KL to complete my last semester and finally graduate soon with "BBusComm" behind my name. If I managed to pass all my subjects, which I have quite confidence on it, I'll be then graduated by March 2011. Any plans after that is still under consideration, haven't made up my mind to either pursue further education in China or go for master degree instead. So, the schedule this sems is pretty hectic, with all killing subjects set together, I'm so gonna die. Seemingly, am enrolled in auditing, accounting theory, financial accounting issues and international financial management. I heard the last one is quite easy, but the rest of it could anytime cause you a mental breakdown.

Mom was here few days ago, accompanied me fly back to KL, cleaned up my room, and even shopped for me :) It was so nice if mom could just stay with me here, she bought me another Burberry, Louis Vuittons, and Braun Buffel. Tell me, how could my life can be any happier? Well, to those who asked, the Louis Vuitton wallet is fake, but the bag is original. lol. I initially bought the original wallet for RM 2700 (+/- 7.5 million Indonesian rupiah). Then mom and I walked around KLCC and found this Indian guy selling exactly the same wallet only RM 100. Apart from the idea that it's fake, you can hardly recognize it in a blink and merely by touching it. Even all the compartments inside are soooo similar. I was like 'wtf?' then a bit disappointed and down. So the next day mom and I decided to buy the fake wallet and changed the original one to bag. So that is how I got a fake Louis Vuitton wallet and an original bag of it, lol. In just one day, I had 5 people asking me whether it's fake or original, hahaha. Trust me, it's fake.

Anw, I'd like to apologize for my last post. I can hardly control myself when I was mad, madly mad, you know. Like someone pissed you off and you just 'boom' ! I don't feel like clarifying anything at the mean time, but perhaps I will in the future. The only thing I could say is people deserve chances, and so do him. Then happy weekend guys !

July 9, 2010

100th post

Can't believe my 100th post should be filled with unhappiness. Let's be very honest here, I hate liar. Lies are something I can't tolerate and when people lies, I believe they have their own reason, and we should somehow understand the position of liar. But to me, once liar, always liar. Swear to me and God that you gonna learnt from mistakes and stop lying, I replied "go fuck yourself". And the worst part from you is that you never know how to say sorry, how to feel regret, and how to ask for forgiveness. you're way too self-centered, too selfish and too arrogant. So I think perhaps this gonna be a perfect time to let go, I wanna care no more, I wanna hurt no more, I wanna hear lies no more.

Have never been this disappointed, honestly. To whom this post is referred, may you be forgiven by God and karma. May you have the chance to correct yourself before it's too late. This heart gonna aches no more, I believe we both suffer enough from your lies. And if you gonna keep the lies up, go ahead. You big bastard please stay away from me. Fuck !

July 6, 2010

mobile post

It's late at night and am wide awake, waiting for the world cup semifinal match. Plan to wake my brother up then watch together, yet I end up have no mood to drag myself watch the match and choose to sleep instead. Days have been quite tiring and I need a good sleep urgently ! Went to nursing home this noon. It has always been the same, everytime I came back for holiday, dad would spend one day bring me to visit the old people. I like it that way, giving more attention to them but there's always something uneasy inside me everytime I visit there. Wish they have a better care and attention yet I can't help a thing :(
Anw, enough for that. I really need a sleep now. Good luck for ur exam tomorrow dear.

July 4, 2010

after one long weekend.

Ever since I had my feet stepped on Medan, never a day I spent without hanging out. The hectic week has finally bring me to the limit and I need to get my body a rest. Two consecutive days were spent with parents on movie, shop and food. Next day was cousins' catching up session after 5 long months. And the rest of the week with high school mates on trip to Brastagi for 3 days and 2 nights. Well, I should say that was so much entertaining and blast ! Holiday is another 2 weeks to go and finally my last semester begins. On the fact that I'd graduate soon this year give me a thrill and excitement yet nervous. Let's talk about the new semester some other time, shall we?

So err, the trip I mentioned earlier turned out quite fun after all, there were only eight of us to keep the trip private and solid, 3 boys and 5 girls. Photos were taken and after several trial, we finally captured great pictures. Most of the pictures gonna be uploaded in facebook by Alvin, leaving some other pictures taken by pocket camera of mine, here : (sorted out the 'acceptable' photos only)

At Alvin's Villa.

the girls (me-ching-shindy-ivonny)

eight of us (alvin-jeniffer-ching-me-shindy-aguan-ajo-ivonny)

Tomorrow will be a visit to 'nursing home' with mom, dad and some relatives. Daddy's routine each year ! see ya guys.

June 29, 2010

hey sugar rush !

Been back in Indonesia for 2 days and life has been good. so good indeed ! Schedule is full at least until next week, spent some time with friends, cousins, families and other friends again. Back to home town means back to be daddy's lil girl. Lucky, am the only daughter he has and thanks God for how he loves me to bits. Was joking to ask him buying me a new diamond ring to replace my old one which I lost it somewhere couple months ago, and he was like, "okay, just don't lose it again." hahahaha, love ya dad. No, not because you bought me another ring. I love you with or without diamond rings. I love you with or without all the material and financial support. You have always been the best to me regardless how people see you. You have always been the best to me and brothers. And for everything you've given to me, I promise to double it for you, promise you a happy, peaceful and best old days that a daughter could ever give :) same thing goes to you mom. This daughter is gonna make you proud, make you held your head high and shed tears of happiness.

So I attended a friend's brother wedding party last Sunday, soon after I landed in Medan, and met couple of old friends. It was fun, relaxing and nice to have them around. Here are some pictures taken by Kervin.

Plan for a trip to Brastagi this coming Friday minus Kervin and gf, hope it'd be fun and let's take some nice pictures. Happy holiday everyone !

June 26, 2010

blowing wish.

Finished my exams yesterday and am so thrilled to see my mom and dad just few hours to go. By this time tomorrow, I'll be sitting with mom, dad, granny and brother having a great chat that I've missed so much. I've done nothing much since the exams end, just went watch 'karate kid' with some friends, went shopping with another friend and had superb dine with bf. Ohh life's so great without exams !! I've also spent hours on youtube, watching the british got talent which I've watched like zillion times. It's a complete happiness to me watching how this world full of people like them. Not to mention, I can't stop crying 'everytime' I watch Susan Boyle. Everytime so far means like 20 or more, am such a mess huh? How I wish I could watch another talent like her popping out in our tv line, internet, or radio. The great thing about those stars is how they stood there on the stage, performing, without knowing how great they are and it made me feels 'wow'.

That is how everyone should be. It'll be so great how people got the looks, the brain, and money yet keep themselves humble. Let's take it as a reminder, a wake up call that you have no need to show off for what you have. No matter how smart you are, how genius you are, it's completely nothing to me if you got no attitude. Well, I happened to know someone who thinks he/she is a genius, and can't shut his/her fucking mouth on how he/she managed to nailed Monash and bla bla bla. That is sickening, trust me ! Ohh yeah, this fellow also can't stop showing off his/her parents wealth which I DOUBT IT !

Same thing goes to those good looking guys or girls. You just need to know that you look way way way much more beautiful or handsome when you have some attitude, please. It's no way in hell that you're the most beautiful or handsome in this earth, so please spare me your bitchy manner. Okay, so here's the thing ! Am not saying that am perfect, that I'm none like them. Most probably, I behave just like those monkeys without my acknowledgement but trust me, I am way better and am working on myself to be a better person. be fair, perhaps I don't even have a 10% of their looks, their brain or money which makes me have nothing to proud of. So let's just stop being so judgemental here.

Now, I really need to start packing. So see you again soon, real soon if I have time to blog back in my hometown :)

June 22, 2010


Can't believe I screwed up my IBF paper this morning. Trust me, I've prepared and studied like hell damn lot of stuff but it didn't turn out quiet well. Should have spent more days reading it, sigh. I read the whole things in just 2 days ! exactly 2 days, not more or less. Let's admit it, we all thought this paper gonna be easy, gonna be 'not-killing', and we were all wrong about that. Anyhow, I have the confident on passing this subject, amen. It's just "good-bye, HD, hope to see you again in future". and "welcome you, P. nice to meet you (NOT THAT NICE ACTUALLY)". or "hello again, C, has been quite a while huh?". Ahh, happened. If I can't score HD or D, C or P will do in this case, just don't failed me please. PLEASE !

So, another paper to go, Malaysian Income Tax Law. I knowwww, shit right?? I, myself didn't know why the hell should I study the MALAYSIAN TAX LAW, but it's a compulsory subject for my 'professional accounting' studies. And leaving me with no choice, here I am with the most shitty subject ever. Wish me luck pls :) And as soon as this paper is over, they'll call me freedom, just like a waving flag *stealing the WC South Africa 2010 theme song line*.

Spongebob and Patrick ♥. SEE YOU THEN WHEN FRIDAY ENDS, loves.

June 15, 2010

15 june.

Just done my first paper this noon and it turned out pretty easy, well, the questions was in my expectation and quite straight forward. Should say D or HD is safe here, hopefully. But it also depends on the marker, if he/she is lenient enough then HD should be no problem, lol. Ahhh one paper down ! And my second paper is a killer, like the 'impossible-to-score' paper. Let's just wish for the best and have a lil faith ! Will sit for the paper this friday, meaning another 2 days left -.- damnnnn !

Good news is am goin back to Medan on 27th, 2 days after my last paper. Yayyyy, just another week to granny, mom, dad and brother :) and foods ! Err, gotta go back studying, wish me luck :p

June 11, 2010


Hey ya people ! been busy with your exams huh? well, same thing here with me. errr, wasn't exactly preparing for my exam these days. more like bringing my books, notes and other stuff here and there, sit for hours but none get into my head, seriously. I really need some effective study ! Gonna sit for my first paper this Tuesday, and i'm far from well-prepared. anyhow, just wish me the best luck kay? So I can graduate this year soon :p

And same goes to you guys, good luck ! have fun studying :) lil cute comic strip for you. I got this from some cool site, but I can't remember. sooooo..see you when exams end !

June 5, 2010

haunting week.

The exam weeks is here again ! Just did my revision hours ago, fell asleep couple of times, but managed to finish 6 chapters of investment. ohh how I hate studying ! My first paper is just another week to go and I need to be completely prepared, mentally and spiritually. Let's get another HD and please not C. Or N, never.

So, I had this serious problem to stay focus, the moment I start studying, I'll start distract myself with facebook, blackberry, and games. I guess what I got to do is:
1) shut down the pc, turn off the blackberry and put away all other distracting stuff out of my sight.
2) get out from my room and study at living room instead, to prevent myself from sneaking into blanket and wasted another 2 hours for sleep
3) try not to push myself too hard. Once I finish some chapters, I'll go watch series or go yam cha.
And voila, it works. Less stressed up and more chapters covered :)

Speaking of exam, it makes me somehow miss mom and dad who used to nag me to the point of insanity just to make me study weeks prior my exam, and I won't listen. But soon they stop nagging, I'll get so panic and start battling with notes. And those moments when my brothers and I all sitting together, facing each other on a round table and study til midnight. As now three of us are all separated by countries, I only get to see them once or twice a year. 3 weeks more and I'll get to see them, let's kill the exam and fight !

May 25, 2010

fight, beat, and win.

Getting so fed up with the internet connection these recent days, I can't access my 'blackboard', facebook, twitter, and even google articles for assignment. But well, I've been trying so hard to refresh the page like zillion times just to make sure I could post up this entry *big time*. So, it's finally come to the end of the semester, one more assignment and EXAMS ! You know what? I think I really need to work hard this sems. It appears that I didn't really understand what the crap has been happening this whole 11 weeks. I recalled the first time I came to Monash and officially enrolled as their student, I was so happy that I could die. I can't remember what the heck I was thinking that time, but it turned out that I'm Monash's 'accounting and banking finance' student. Risking myself taking such killing major was really STUPID, I should say.

My first semester didn't go quite well, I could barely understand each things the lecture taught. while most of my friends seemed quite get along with the subjects. I got so frustated about all the 'economic and finance' thingy which obviously I've never been taught of since I was a 'science' student back then. I almost give up to everything, to the challenges, to the difficulties and pressures. But then I think, maybe I just need to work harder, work like a smart. So here I am, not gifted with genius brain nor born as a talented bitch, I managed to push myself to work harder, try harder, and achieve more. I survived ! at least to my fifth semester now, without any big deal so far. What I need to do now is to do the same or even better and win the game. I know I will, I hope so :)

To everyone facing their exams soon, best luck for you ! and so here another simple edited photo I did. good night :)

May 16, 2010


I bet people are all on bed having their beauty sleep at this time. I was about going to bed as well, but too bad, I need to do some reading for my assignment to be submitted this Friday. I guess I had this tendency to blog or post something at my busy hours instead of my free time. You know, after lotsa pdf files, websites, and articles buzzing around your hectic head, you might want some refreshment. In my case, blogging perhaps :)

While typing this post with eyes half open, bf came to remind me through msn that I have a freaking morning class tomorrow and that I need to go sleep like 'now'. At the same time, he's down there, five floors away from my unit, reading his notes and preparing for the test first thing in the morning later on. Kay, given the time limit (lol), I won't blabber too much then, good night all of you ♥

Ohh well, here some random photos I just edited couple hours ago. As I've told you, I had a very high tendency to do unnecessary things mostly on my full schedule period, my bad !

Alright then, hope that'll make up for my absence at least until upcoming Friday. And lastly, best luck for the test, bf :)

May 5, 2010

option that one shall choose.

Have been 'typing-saving-and-deleting' this blog post since the last couple of hours. Yet, the urge to write has finally made me decided to go on with the post. At this very moment, there are assignments due on Friday waiting to be done. However, I decided to take some time break, so here I am instead of finishing those craps. Well, it happened that I had this long conversation with my brother, asking him for suggestion of which camera should I take. Yes, most of the times, I'd come to my brother and discuss everything before I make a decision. To my surprise, he has grown up so much in the way he think, I should say. Each and every advices I heard from him is like a huge wake-up-call.

So, I've been thinking again and again why on earth I demanded so much of thing I don't even deserve. I turned out, nagged my mom to buy me one of those cameras which I believe is not the last thing I'd nag her to buy. Perhaps next month, I'd come to her, show her a catalogue of branded stuff then start nag and demand her to let me have one. Well, I can honestly tell you, mom and dad never fail to satisfy all of my financial demand. I just come to ask myself, what did I give them in return? Obviously, I can't afford to buy them pricey stuff. But that's not what I meant here, the fact that I didn't put enough effort on my study is what disappoint me the most. I didn't make use every cents they spent on me wisely, I ignore the fact that I'm obliged to act as a responsible daughter. I went out having too much fun, spending cents they earned for the sake of my education.

Now you tell me, what is the point of possessing branded bags, designer shoes, expensive fine dress, and high-end gadgets which you bought using your parents' credit cards?? I'm getting even more and more annoyed with myself. I was blinded from the start, acting so irresponsible and ignorant. Hence, I finally convinced myself, that every other things are not important, all stuff are just tertiary needs. What matter the most is I have to score high, bring home a degree behind my name, move beyond boundaries and make my parents held their head high, and say "that is my daughter". This is a promise to myself, a gentle reminder to stay humble and down to earth.

If any of you reading my post here, feeling the same way like I did...perhaps, you should think over again what you deserve and what you don't. Well, I know best that Burberry is inevitable, indeed. I can't agree more, but let's think as a smart, Burberry and Prada won't get you a position in a well-known company. The substances in your brain will !

April 30, 2010

lust list.

Have been eyeing on several items which is definitely worth to die for, ugh ! guess gonna get myself a camera, can't decide yet either lomo or polaroid. any idea guys? here are some hot stuff i'd like to have at the moment >.<

anddddd a lomo diana !

April 14, 2010

second quarter.

Hello, good night readers. Wonder if the days have been good to you cause it doesn't turn out so for me. So it's the 'solvency' issue am talking about here, lol. Kinda over spent the ringgits this month, ohh oww, but that's okay - gonna save each and every cents from now on *cross fingers. Let's see how am gonna struggle for the rest of the month so that I won't cross the budget line. Enough said, you won't be interested in my money issues though, will you? haha. So here's pictures from past few days' blast.

Okay, one more thing which I can't stop myself from not writing - it's a piece of advice anyway. You better stop acting up, sweetheart or else, everyone around you are gonna dump you the hard way. And oh well, please zip your fucking mouth off or I'll zip it for you. Go ahead and mock at me, you are so gonna pay for it. I mean really please, am getting so enough of you. What the hell with all those attitudes? I see no good, no grace, and no beauty in it, at all !

Well, I bet everyone gonna be as mad as I am now when you found out certain people simply judge you when they don't even know what the fuck you've been through ! And you have the right to be even madder, when the one who dare to judge you are even far far far worse. Keep in your mind, I am someone who always have my very own way in giving lessons. Instead of a hard rough slap in face, I'll come up with something you never expected. All I can say, it won't be nice and yes, you won't like it that way.

ps. daily updates on my twitter loves :)

April 10, 2010

becoming myself.

I bet there are times when one feels like becoming someone else, living in a life which is so-not-you. I went through that times, not because I enjoy being someone else but because I was indeed trying to be perfect to others. That was stupid, I know. Doubting yourself can be the greatest fault all of us are guilty of. You are never the same person you were yesterday. Expectations of life yield different meanings and feats but outcomes solely symbolises your all. Money, luxury, wealth and power represent happiness in many cultures. What if you have all of this, but no one to share it with? What if it wasn't appreciated? Ever sit in a room full of people but still feel alone? Feeling unappreciated and taken for granted maybe the worst feeling the heart can bare.

When I was a little, the society taught me that being different was wrong. Just like when they showed me a picture of three oranges and a pear and asked me to eliminate which one is different and does not belong. Luckily, I failed the test most of the times. Well, I'm telling you that I feel it perfectly fine being different. I will never try to be perfect, looks perfect or sounds perfect in front of anyone. I enjoy being a realist and a perfectionist. I'm in fact easily irritated, emotional, and impatient. I am passionate, procrastinatory, proud, sarcastic, scary, stubborn, sympathetic, a dreamer and a believer of fate. I'm sorry if you don't like me, I'm sorry if you think I suck but most of all "I'm sorry", I don't give a fuck.

April 5, 2010

you and your lies.

I came to realize one thing, why the hell on this earth I tried so hard to fix things between us when you are the one who secretly messed all up. Now I feel fucking retarded for all the effort I've done never worth the result ! I always thought I'm the one who has to be blamed, the one to feel sorry, the one has to apologize. Well, now I realized how stupid I am putting all the blame on myself while you and your lies stand still like nothing's wrong.

Perhaps, I'm saying perhaps that this is nothing big, it just the foolish me choose to be with a boy instead of a man, whose life is all about his games, his friends, and his comfort zone. No, there's no need to be sorry because I know you are not. You just need to hang on and think all over again, where you did wrong and where you did right. Well, am not saying you might have done something right, but you certainly done something wrong. Until you figured it out, we'll never be fine.

March 31, 2010

good and happy

These few days appeared to be tough since I had all this sore throat, runny nose and high fever attacking exactly after I had so much popcorn. I hate being sick, well, I have the reason to skip class but I hate doing nothing instead of laze on bed whole day. I must feel better in no time, so I could catch up with all the essays I haven't finished and reading that I have to go through since I keep missing the classes. Mom and dad sounded so worried when they know my condition and keep blabbering on how important it is to take enough rest and sleep early. Ohh am 20 ! I think they just forgot how their daughter has grown up. Dad was offering me to go back home town for my midbreak holiday but I don't feel like going back. It's supposedly my last year here, so I think I'm gonna spend it tripping around.

So school has been quite okay so far besides all those reading to do. There will be lotsa assignment due after my midbreak, ganbatte ! As soon as I recovered, I'll start working on the assignment and house work too, this is a promise. Alright then, happy mid-semester break fellas !

March 18, 2010

biggest treasure.

Ughh, too bad I had to tell you that I once again went through a very hard week, a very very very hard one indeed. I suffered an acute self-focused disease, started to ignore everyone and not even giving a damn to important things. Well, as what I've said in my last post, I really went out of line, becoming someone else that I can hardly recognize. The minute I realize I went so wrong, I tried hard to find a way back. Hoping someone is there to help and give his/her hands. In fact, I'm lucky. My best friend, (well, I never really had what so called best friend yet I found one now), you know who you are, helped me through my hard times.

Apparently, I get the courage to speak up what I want and start to find 'myself' in me with her advice and guidance. Thank God, she was there to remind me that I've done something very inappropriate. So I made a promise, a promise to myself, that I won't let you guys down. I'll be someone better and someday you'll be proud having me as your friend. I won't stop thanking, never.

Another thing is I wanna apologize to everyone, anyone, someone, whoever you are if I've offended you in any way. I might be too unstable these few weeks and don't take something I've done seriously cause at that time, I might be out of mind. At the very end, I wish everything's fine. Many thanks and sorry at the same time.

March 15, 2010

the damage you left.

It's third week of school and things have been so well. Friends and best friends are all here to celebrate their graduation. I was so delighted for them that I secretly cried and started to wonder how would the rest of my semesters would be without them around. These friends, this group of friends are the only best buddies I've met ever since. Well, what I'll do is keep the memories deep there and let's hope we meet again in future, all success in whatever we do. Amen.

Meanwhile, I've been struggling with myself these days. I guess I had too much fun that I left out some important things to take care of and messed all them up. I started to drink so much, play so hard, and even forget the 'must-pray-before-sleep' habit. I myself, have no idea what's going on. I forgot the purpose I'm here and the goal I've set all this time, I went out of line and get so wrong in certain things. I just don't know why. Yet, I'm not regret of all the things I've done, I believe there are always lessons to be learned behind those mistakes.

Now, I shall start picking up the broken pieces, clean up all the messes, and move on. Ohh well, the damage left might stop me from moving on. But am not gonna waste another day stuck in the shadow of my mistakes. To someone somewhere out there, thanks for the memories and damages you left. Let's take a step forward.

The photo is basically taken on the day where we celebrated friends' graduation and all had so much drink (read: jackpot). Located at the opera, dated on 11-03-2010 midnight.

March 7, 2010


It was just few days ago when I celebrated my 20th birthday with friends, it was great. It might be the last am gonna spend a birthday with them since all of us are going to graduate very soon. Well, the pictures taken are not uploaded yet so catch the facebook news feed guys. Another thing is school started exactly on my birthday and hell yeah, two semesters to go. Apparently, I've skipped classes so far, bad habit. It was different from those times when I walked enthusiastically to Monash every morning, most of the present time, am gonna let my lazy ass stuck under blanket until 12 pm something, crap. That basically explained why I gained few kgs since I went back to KL, ughh !

Anyway, mid-break is just one month away, let's plan a getaway and get some fun. I crave for something different this year. No, not the shopping getaway, am getting soooo enough of that. Not gonna squeeze another shopping bags to my closet, no. My friends and I picked a destination though, let's see if we gonna make it and rock the break. Happy weekend babies :)

February 9, 2010

Under construction !

Blog is under construction ! Please come back later (:

like finally.

It's another difficult week I guess. Planned for a shopping escape but end up stuck at KL due to visa problem, sucks huh? And still things come up and it's a must for me to settle it. I tried my best in everything, okay, almost everything and I hope people around me would appreciate whatever I do, since honestly, I tried to minimize the damage and pain. I'd like to apologize if I've hurt any of you intentionally or unintentionally. Well, most of you might not understand what I'm trying to tell here, but 'the girls' on Spectra should know, lol. You guys have become my biggest treasure all this time, all this very hard, tough, fun teenage life ! Again, I'm sorry dear for hiding all the fucking stupid things from you.

Like I said, we might be cool or uncool in the future, but whatever happen, I still hope the very very best for you. If one day you'd remembered this day, please consider why I do so. Telling you is a big decision, and I made it just because I love you. You'd probably forgive but never forget what I've done, isn't it? I guess I can totally understand. You know, hoping that nothing would change between us might be too much. And I still put much hope on this one ♥

January 27, 2010

hectic week behind (:

Dear readers, am extremely sorry for the late post. There are lots of ups and downs this week, problems are still there and I know I could never ever avoid any of them. All I did was praying and hoping that God listens, and yes He did. He answered all my prayers and put me safe. You know, there was once said, "If God doesn't answer your prayers, He knows you can handle it perfectly". I guess it's pretty true, have a lil faith on yourself, and there are no things you can't accomplish :)

University is going to open very soon, and I've been preparing so that I'm not going to lazy around when it actually starts. People around me actually know how often I skipped classes just for a nap ! Err, guess this sems will actually stay the same. Don't blame me, it's not that I don't have the will to change, I just get used to it, lol. Another two sems and I'll be graduating, hopefully ! Ohh, university life has been really wonderful, the cute guys, the group works, the last minute rushes, the hectic exam schedules, and the charming senior. I'll miss them !

Okay, so tomorrow is another holiday ! I'll get packed, leave with an early flight, and go back before Chinese new year ! I've been waiting, but not the valentine which is on the same date. It's lame celebrating valentine alone, probably with 'just' mommy and daddy. Sigh !

January 20, 2010

oh well, thing goes wrong.

I'd like to apologize to certain people who feels offended by my last post. So here I am, trying my best to clarify what is actually going on. My real life story was not meant and referred to oneself nor myself. It was pure 'a real life story' that happens so often in this universe, don't you guys think so? In fact, I'm not falling for best friend's man. Mmm, I guess it's enough to explain, huh? Basically this post is written only to clarify what's happening so don't expect interesting writings here, lol.

Well, it's just another half month to go until my next holiday trip with friend. I'm kinda excited, and nervous. I actually neglected my work too often and boss is not going to be okay with that. He told me to cancel the trip, and I was like 'ughhh'. But I'll still pack my bags and ready to go :) And yah baby, I just uploaded my last weekend photos to facebook. Here are some !

Ahh well, I guess I don't have to explain anything for the bad quality photos, it was taken by BB which is sucks you guys know. That's it loves, good night ♥

January 13, 2010

real life story.

Howdy guys? Sorry for the very late update since I had my very difficult times accessing the internet these past few days. Yes, I was in Jakarta with family. Dad and brother went back early for works so mom and me stayed like 2 weeks there. Really, I feel like staying there a bit longer but I got works to be done as well and dad seems like missing my mom hell so much. I'll definitely going back there someday ! There was one night escape to Bandung too, with great friends around, my life can't be any happier. I'll post the pictures very soon, if I wasn't too lazy at the moment ;p

Anw, I'd like to share a story with you guys. Idk if it would be right telling you guys here but I guess am having enough about this issue. Now you guys tell me what if you and your best friend fall for the same guy? What if the guy said he loves you but you guys are going to remain friends for LDR reason? What would you said to your best friend as an excuse? Okay, it's not even a story. They're questions which I haven't found out the answer. There was once I asked this guy, and he told 'time is going to answer, you sit and wait'. I laughed and nodded.

I remember it was from a total stranger to friend and now lover. Love's so unpredictable huh? You tell me.