February 27, 2012

best birthday gift.

Goodnight apples ! I own the whole night to myself doing nothing, was planning to change my blog header during my free time but I'm too lazy to do any editing at the moment. Instead, I browsed through tumblr and found massive adorable pictures. Apparently, I did a lot of browsing lately since I don't get much to do after work. Yes, I've settled for a permanent job with my dad since a month ago where my job description comprises almost everything in it. As dad is pretty strained recently with one of his employee committed embezzlement, he deliberately let me taking over most of his job which means more responsibility on my part. Honestly, I love my job and workplace so much. Bet I learnt a lot more than what I could possibly obtained out there. Dad being my mentor is one of the best things I'm grateful of, he has been very patient, wise, inspirational, and motivating all this time. Always thought that working with dad could be such a pain in the ass but he proved me wrong. I get the chance of meeting new people, lobbying big bosses, practicing my mandarin skill, flying overseas on a business trip, and not to mention, the thrill of receiving my first salary !

So we (dad and I) were planning on starting another new business apart from what we're doing now because he thinks that if we're capable of doing more, why not. And I'm gonna board on a plane to China this upcoming April to serve that purpose, woohoo. My relationship with dad aren't about job at all pieces, he actually spend few hours everyday to listen to stories about my personal relationship with boys, my future plan, my super-chaotic life back in China, my opinion on tiles' color for our new house, and bla bla bla. Ohh, he even remembered my Chinese birthday today of which I wasn't aware about it myself. Thanks mom and dad, you guys are my greatest birthday gift ever since I was born. And just when I was typing this post about him, he entered my room just to check if I'm asleep, how can I not love love love him?

February 23, 2012

inhaling, exhaling

There has been a lot of hitches going on in my workplace while I'm not even there for exactly one month yet. I saw how people could be so corrupted, manipulated, dishonored, and degraded in so many ways. Anything dealt with office stuff aren't meant to be spilled here so I couldn't mention much. Anyhow, if somebody feel really sorry for whatever mistake they did and willing to make a better change then I shall give them a second try for an improved upshot in future, with any luck.

February 20, 2012

happy kid is home.

Unlike my super fun living in Shanghai, being back in Medan is a whole lot of torments. But who am I to complain? I've lived enough privileges and luxuries these years, and everyone seems to agree I should live the conversed phase of life starting from my late 21. Speaking of age, I'm turning 22 next month which is a sad thing to celebrate. Since I flew back here month ago, I've made myself busy with running errands for mom and dad, hanging out with friends, focusing on work stuff and spending time with brother who apparently has only 3 more days to spend here. I can't imagine here comes the time I'm finally gonna stick and stay in Medan for a long long time. Good to know I finally get to wake up in my own room, having conversation with my parents everyday, my very own car to drive here and there, someone doing my laundry and cleaning but I miss my old life that much I wanna go back to Shanghai or Beijing or KL. I wouldn't mind waking up in an apartment room, taking cab to everywhere, or even doing my own laundry. I can do an endless whining if I need to, phew.

But anyways, life is life. As much as I dislike the way it turns out, I'm living it so I shall save it a vigor. It's a blow that I even have time to regularly update my blog since I'm so foolishly free. Believe it or not, I have those times to actually check on everyone's facebook page or interesting blogs or twitter accounts, I'm a trained stalker may you all beware.

February 17, 2012


February 15, 2012

never judge.

A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call ASAP, changed his clothes and went directly to the surgery block.
He found the boy’s father going and coming in the hall waiting for the doctor. Once seeing him, the dad yelled:
“Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have the sense of responsibility?”

The doctor smiled and said:
“I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital and I came the fastest I could after receiving the call…… And now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work”

“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??” said the father angrily

The doctor smiled again and replied: “I will say what Job said in the Holy Bible “From dust we came and to dust we return, blessed be the name of God”. Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go and intercede for your son, we will do our best by God’s grace”

“Giving advice when we’re not concerned is so easy” Murmured the father.

The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy, “Thank God! Your son is saved!”

And without waiting for the father’s reply he carried on his way running. “If you have any question, ask the nurse!!”

“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait some minutes so that I ask about my son’s state” Commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left.

The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: “His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was in the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he left running to finish his son’s burial.”

NEVER JUDGE ANYONE because you never know how their life is and as to what is happening or what they’re going through.

February 10, 2012

cherishing every details of life


When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

February 5, 2012

naive confession and denial.

New year, new beginning. That's probably what I said last year, few years ago, many years back then. As a matter of fact, new year doesn't come with a fresh new start, you can't undo what you've done, or in my case, pretend like the past wasn't any trouble. There were lots of ups and downs during my time in Shanghai, unavoidable fights and dramas. I blatantly claimed that I was mature enough to be independent that time which turns out wasn't so right after all. Made mistakes, learnt my lessons and I guess life goes on. Apparently, I wasn't so lucky with my personal relationship either but thanks to you, I learnt it the hard way and here comes the time where we all should finally settle for what it's worth. For some time, I had no clue where this is going, or any idea how I could get through the hustles but if 'stand still and move on' is my only choice then I presume I'll be just fine like any other broken couple.

Given the chance that I've moved back to my hometown where everything won't be the same anymore, I'll take it as a rebuilding opportunity or whatever you people call it. The truth is moving on isn't hard, it's what you leave behind that makes it difficult, how every quick flash of scenes and images draw you back without you even realizing. Anyway, none of that matters now, I'm a grown-up and I shall get back up every time life knocks me down. Thanks to you for forgiving, for the chance and for going through the rough time with me, I can be a better me. Now, if it's not too late to greet everyone a very happy Chinese New Year. Best wishes from Lie's.

last 2011

I’ve made mistakes in my life. I’ve let people take advantage of me, and I accepted way less than I deserve. But, I’ve learned from my bad choices and even though there are some things I can never get back and people who will never be sorry, I’ll know better next time and I won’t settle for anything less than I deserve.