goodbye

January was so emotional, exciting yet upsetting. Well, it wasn't that bad after all, it just makes me learn things the hard way. We all realize that once in a while, everything seems so wrong and that was exactly how I felt about the stuff hitting me at the beginning of the month. I barely step out from my room and speak a word for weeks until I decided to clear my head off by booking one-way ticket to Jakarta and left the mess behind. Days in Jakarta was spent with many of my beloved ones and I feel healed afterwards. Things turned out to be great when I learned how to forgive and forget. Wasn't exactly forgetting the mess yet but I'm trying hard to.

And now that I'm back in Medan, let's settle the unsettled things. Full preparation has been made before I left to Beijing in 2 weeks time. And another delightful preparation with mom, granny and my supermaid for the upcoming Lunar New Year. Sadly, I just lose one of my uncles few days ago but dad keep telling us that there's nothing to cry of, nothing to be sad about because he believes that Uncle is happier there than here. And he made us believed that as well. May you rest in peace dear Uncle, we're all happy that you're finally free from all the sufferings and pains this earth has caused you. It's such a loss to missed you for this Chinese New Year celebration for there'll be no one making such jokes to laugh at anymore...so goodbye already, we'll miss you, Uncle.

Meanwhile, let's get ready for the big rabbit year, fellas ! My two brothers will be back for the celebration and that's awesome :) we haven't celebrated CNY with the complete family members for a while. So this year is gonna be hit ! Red celebration is everywhere, with the typical red lanterns, pink cherry blossom flowers, greeting cards, and most importantly, angpaos ! Happy Chinese New Year my dears :)

annoying shits

There are times when we feel so annoyed of something happened around us and often it would just ruin our mood. Well, I encountered a lot of stuff and events that really turned me off recently. Most of the times are when member of my family asked about my ex. I was like 'why are you guys keep asking about him?'. It's not like I hate him or whatever but that was past times and I'm now happy with the man I'm seeing. I hate it when people keep asking about him. For the fact that I have nothing to do with him anymore, so please stop asking already. SIGH.

So much about 2011

A bit late to greet everyone Happy New Year 2011 ! But I sincerely wish everyone out there having their best this year and may everything turns out the way we want it to be. When it comes to new year, we normally get excited of new beginnings, new exciting experience and new stories to be shared with loved ones. Pretty much like everyone, I'm hoping that 2011 will be nice and superb although I already had bad days to begin with in this year. There were fights, lies and sickness along with my celebration of new year. I was pretty sure that this might be a bad sign for me until I realize there are another 360 days to go through until 2012 and I believe they won't be that bad. Let's build the spirit of new year, and do something even better than last year.

Basically, I'll be spending my 2011 with another year attending school, a short-term studies of Mandarin. I'll soon be leaving for Beijing in mid-February after the Chinese New Year and will only be back one year afterwards with the full preparation to enter the working-life. As for now, I'm so much doing nothing. Mom and dad do not seem to be very happy with my long holiday because they got to see me around at the house almost all the time doing nothing and that annoys them. Mom has been pushing me to join some kind of intensive class for preparation before China, while Dad keeps asking me to help him at the office. Well, I'll do both. After the flu, headache and bad cough gone, I'll help Dad at the office and attend an intensive class after office hours. Not a story of interesting summer holiday, huh?

celebrating new year's eve with high-school mates (only few of us left in Medan)

Also at the mean time, mom and I have been working on the design of our new house. We already had three different designers helping with the construction but mom does not seem to be quite satisfied with the results yet. There were a lot of disagreements that make me doubt the construction will be finished in 2 years. Well, our new house sure is much more spacious than our current residence, and I'll have my own walk-in-closet later on, isn't that just great? Yes to that, I'll post the pictures soon.

month of the year

Hey bloggers, I see it's finally the end of 2010 and who doesn't love December. All the great things are here, school holiday, summer-break, Christmas delight,and New Year Eve. I heard people are not having great time during 2010, well, mine wasn't great too but I love this year. It is the year where my long exhausting university life has finally come to an end. Graduating is one big thing in my life, and I couldn't be any happier of having to finish my degree just on time. Which also means, tougher and more challenging future is waiting out there. I've gotten myself ready though ! So thank you dear God who have helped me through all the hard times and kept me strong. Thank you my parents who obviously supported me all these times, financially, physically and spiritually. Also thank you bf, brothers and all dearest friends out there :)

Here I am now enjoying my long holiday before the new chapter of life which is still a long way to go. Apparently, I cancelled all my application for master degree although I know it is a great chance to lose but I've made a better future plan for myself. I believe the result of going the other way will be much more promising than sitting another 1.5 years in university again (hope this answers those who were asking around why I cancelled my earlier plan). Honestly, I think I might regret this decision one day but screw it, I know my God has a better plan for me. Again, thank you mom and dad for letting me decide where I am heading, although I honestly know they really want to have their children pursuing master degree.

However, I can feel my next chapter of life will be much funner than sitting in university. I'll keep you guys updated ! Until then, take care and have a great December !

clear my head off.

I'm turning into someone else I don't even know, I lose control over myself and lucky, by the time I realized, it ain't too late yet. Ever since my final exam, I've been pampering myself through shopping and eating. I practically ate like a horse and need to stop before I turned into scary beast, so hello 'empty stomach' ! I won't allow anything get into my mouth after 6pm. That's the deal, well, except the BBQ party tomorrow :) that's gonna be a blast. We had lotsa people coming and lotsa foods on the way, and yes, Le Cordon Bleu chef will be serving us, lol. Talked to mom about my spending pattern and she started to worry that I'm turning into those bimbo girls who are (sorry to say) expert in make up and style but big zero inside the brain. Honestly, I started to worry myself ! *kata orang syndrom kehilangan jati diri*

Mom then said I should be someone like her, like my dad, like my brothers, because we are one family. That stuff she told me, hit straight to my face, and made me realize, I've been different. I demanded almost everything without giving anything ! I kept complaining how lucky my brother is, he could get new Macbook, new Ipad, new BB, new this and that so easy, but I apparently, forget the fact that he worked hard to make himself deserve all those privileges. He deactivated his facebook for study reason, he made use his time wisely, scored first rank two years straight ever since he landed in Singapore, and yes, I admit it, he deserves what he got.

Now compare that to me, I woke up at 11am, watched every new movie coming out in cinemas, had fine dinner almost every week, spend 80% of my allowance on shopping, and I DID NOT WORK HARD TO GET THAT. Screw me, useless creature :( And the worst part is, I just reserved fucking tons of stuff at topshop this evening. Well, I'm not gonna get that anymore, I'll just pick up something necessary. I shall remind myself that everytime I lose control on handling my cash, I should think DO I EVEN NEED THAT? The amount I spent in 15 minutes in one shop equals to my driver's one month salary, now you tell me if my brain still working right. *sigh big time*

This is basically what dad told me on phone, "you think I'm proud of you spending that much money and looking good? Girls look good when they're actually beautiful herself, If she's damn fcking ugly, then whatever topshop mango (idk how he knows topshop and mango -.-) WILL NOT HELP. I'll only be proud of you when my only daughter has finally graduated with satisfying result, having proper job and become someone. And now, you're just no one yet, so why don't you just sit back and think of what I've said". Then he hang up. I was like ..... okay, you're so mean, daddy, but you're right. Thanks for reminding me, but you have to know, there are things from me that you should be proud of. I don't have to tell it here, you know that and I know you'll be so goddamn proud of me someday :)