Almost two in the midnight and I'm still wide awake with confusing emotional feeling. The day was spent with bunch of close friends and new acquaintances. I feel great not staying at my room on weekend. Completely exhausted and drained, but I just can't get into sleep at the moment so I tried to rest myself and do nothing. Ridiculously, this stupid brain started to make up images, stories, and lines. They were those unfamiliar stuff running back and forth in my mind and I get very anxious afterwards. My heart beats faster, hoping that what crossed my head earlier wasn't true and not gonna be true. Do you get that often, dear readers? Honestly, it hits me so fucking frequent and I hate how it makes me feel, no kidding.
They were those stupid 'scene', which perhaps is not happening or perhaps not gonna happen, but still you're so cautious and aware because we all know that there's nothing hurt more than disappointment and betrayal. Every time I encounter such thing, I'll normally hold back and think 'ohh, I shouldn't trust someone so much' or 'hey, don't expect things'. But this time, I don't wanna give a fuck anymore. I get damn tired of being cautious. It's true that there's simply too much risk in loving someone wholeheartedly. You don't know when he's gonna turn you down, you don't know when he's gonna break your heart, you don't know when he's gonna flip you out. In fact, you do know that one day in future, there's a big chance or I should say an absolute chance for him to break you heart, but you still hand him your heart hoping that he's different. THAT'S STUPID. Well, love is all about being stupid, isn't it?
