Going back or not going back to Beijing has become a significant issue to me these past few weeks. I honestly feel no thrill to spend another half year over there. Not that I don't like it there, come on who's gonna refuse the chance to have fun far from your parents, spending some time to yourself, dance the nights off, shop till you drop, wake up at 12 and don't feel guilty at all. That was life in Beijing. It was all about having fun and irresponsible. I had no self-control, I let myself drown in the comfort of spending money that I don't earn. I love living my life that way, but I can't and I shouldn't.
Considering to quit Beijing is such a pain in the ass. I've been thinking about the after-plan if I'm quitting, I'll either end up working of which I'm not ready for or I'll end up taking master degree of which somehow not possible at the moment. Perhaps there's no harm living my fun life for another half year, but still after long consideration, I still come to think that learning Chinese in Beijing is such a waste of time and yes, money. Frankly, I skipped more classes than those I attended. Instead of reading books, I hit the club and shopping malls. Why would I go back to those days? It was insanely fun, indeed. But dad made me feel like I shouldn't be doing that at my age now. To him, life is all about earning money, building family and being responsible to your surroundings. And I'm just in the right age to start realizing and learning. So let me go back and think all over again, bloody September is just around the corner :'(
