tired of forgiving

I thought that would be only once. Who cares if that is only a simple thing?
I did cry for simple things.
I did hurt for simple things.
They said big thing often starts from the simple one.

What's next? Keeping him next to me all the time never means he'll stay though.

Ohh, foolish me expecting the impossible !

never comes true wish.

Sometimes I wish I was never an eldest child in the family, where my mom and dad would put so much hopes on me. And they keep reminding how sucks I am if I can't do what they want. Everything...I mean EVERYTHING is totally insane, totally sickening. I really wish a normal life like another typical teenage girl. In fact, they will always use the "because we love you" as an excuse for prohibiting me dating, prohibiting me out to cinema on Saturday night, prohibiting me making new friends of which they afraid would impact negatively towards me.

Once again I tried to be a daughter they would loved to have. I do everything they want, everything they demand, but at the end, they never satisfied. The grades I achieved in school and university were never enough. My efforts for scholarships and medals were meaningless. I wanna scream out loud!! I need a break. I hope they won't push me that hard, beyond my ability. I really wish.

Just if they could understand, please G!

chances.

Today post doesn't reflect on anything practically. I just somehow feel so dull and want to do something except studying. Facebooking and youtubing are just out-of-date so I back blogging. My life is not going really well lately. I didn't get any sleep for past 2 days so I get kinda stressed out and fell sicked. The weather not even better, it's freaking hot like killing people sometimes, while the other time, there'll be a heavy rain with those scary thunders almost every minute. This kind of weather really really contribute much to my absence in some classes! I mean REALLY!

Okay, my life was currently begin to out of its line. I often ignored my purpose being here, being a university student. What I did were just letting the time passed by like it doesn't really important but then I just begin to regret! Never knew that regretting something could be so torturing. Sometimes I wish I could turn back time, mend my mistakes so I would not have to regret about it in days like these. To those time I was young and naive (still am sometimes), wasn't sensitive on most things.

♥ tuck me into bed. I need a sleep!

to: A ♥

Je te veux ♥

they said things often lost in transition! and yes, I agree

I guess everyone also overlooked the things that we've lost during transition. Like once we were a kid, we often put much effort trying to know much and prove ourselves 'big'. And that was the time we actually let go of our innocence. It's all these small things that add up to the way we are now. And if you think about it, you might find the reason why you appear to be a little uptight today.

Everyone gets older by time, and so do I. Do the changes in age worth the changes in your attitude? When you're 17, everything was a big affair with the heart. When you've hit 20, everything with the heart kinda figure themselves out for you. But when you're 19, you're just somewhere in between. There are times when I'm wise, there are times when I go a little too drama over things. But that's all about being teens anyway!

When else do you get to screw up a whole lot, and finally feel like you're getting your act back together again before you hit 20?

refers to dfl blog.

she makes a return!

Kays! my blog is so dead, i agreed. I'm so busy with my personnel stuffs lately and still I'm lazy to share something out after so long. Review back to what I've been skipped this long...well, I've attended several lectures and tutorials. Everything was doing fine so far and I'm still trying to figure out what is happening in AIS subject. I'm kinda stressed out reading the first chapter so I decided to take a break and never back to that chapter again. So how you think I could move on to the next chapter, huh?

Last ten days was my birthday. Thanks everyone for the greetings and wishes. Also thanks for the surprises =). The crowd, cheers, cake, flowers, candles, and laughter! Oh, they just mean so much. Thank you! I'm trying to upload the photos here, hope it will work.

The photos were quite a lot, but they even not 10% percent of all the photos yet. That day was awesome, I bet. Unfortunately, some of them couldn't make it =(. I really miss those time spent with my girls. Ching, Olyph, Tinna..where are you dear?

Ily, Kitty =)

It's unfair! Totally unfair! I was just thinking bout Kitty this morning and it makes me miss her so much. But then suddenly my dad told me she's now dead! For having a car accident. I was like 'whatt??' and it wasn't a joke. I lose her anyway! I'm so so broken. I remembered the time she was born and when she was about to be given to other, I insisted to take care of her and begged my mom. I love her! so much. But nw I have to lose her. I just can't stand it.

Curse the one who carelessly send her to death. She's not supposed to leave this early. She's supposed to stay with me always. I cried! I want her back. Just make her back to life and I'll give you anything....anything!!!

May you rest in peace, dear =(. I'll always love you.




p.s you mean a lot to me..i love you. i really do!